Friendly reminder that Dean is canonically amazing in bed
I just realized that Dean was a mere 21 years old when he earned the title of “Best night of my life Dean”
Okay I know the time frame totally doesn’t work but- Imagine Draco Malfoy getting all puffed up and arrogant and starting to say “I don’t think my father-” and Harry slyly interjecting “-the inventor of toaster strudel-” “-would be too happy to-” and then stopping in confusion when Harry, Hermione, and every other Muggleborn in earshot start practically crying with laughter.
It’s hilarious that we live in a society that will shame you for how much sex you have and for the junk food you eat. Like, wow, how dare you eat delicious foods and have orgasms, you’re a monster. Enjoy your miserable life filled with pleasures.
laptop overheating?? pour water on it to cool it down!
i trusted you
Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people
SOMEONE TEXTED ME WITH THE WRONG NUMBER AND I PLAYED ALONG I’M GOING TO HELL I KNOW IT
AU: James and Lily live.
#thEY COULD HAVE HAD A NICE LIFE#James letting two year old Harry ride in front of him on his broomstick#LILY SHOWING HARRY HOW TO BAKE THE MUGGLE WAY BECAUSE SHE THINKS IT TASTES BETTER AND NOT TO LISTEN TO HIS FATHER BECAUSE HE’S AN IDIOT#And Harry will ask if he’s an idiot why did you marry him#and she’ll just shrug and say that he got under her skin enough that she couldn’t let him go#And James told himself he wouldn’t write to Harry at school because he wasn’t going to be that kind of annoying dad#bUT HE DOES AND SOMETIMES HE AND SIRIUS GO TO HOGSMEADE AND JUST SO HAPPEN TO RUN INTO HARRY#GODFUCKINGDAMMIT I HATE IT ALL
I texted those tags to my friend and she fucking responds with “I CAN SEE THE HOGSMEADE THING JFC. HARRY WOULD FIND HIS DAD AND THEN MINERVA WOULD SEE JAMES AND SHE’D BE LIKE “POTTER” AND JAMES AND HARRY WOULD BOTH TURN AROUND AND SAY ‘YES PROFESSOR?’ EXCEPT JAMES WOULD HAVE HIS SMUG LITTLE SHIT SMILE ON.” and I quit life.
#I THOUGHT THIS COULDN’T HURT ANY WORSE #CONGRATULATIONS BECAUSE IT FUCKING DID
in the UCSB shooter’s manifesto he mentions that being exposed to porn at a young age helped shape his views on women so if you honestly think that mainstream porn is harmless and “”“empowers women”“” then i have news for you pal
Guys who try to use the “Are you on your period?” as way to end an argument always amuse me. Because it gives me the excuse to lean in close and whisper.
“I started my day by waking up in a pool of my own blood. Is that how you’d like me to end yours?”
omfg this is great
New favorite comeback.